extradimensional space

[thaumobabble]

Here is a house.

It is pretty and trim and green-and-cream and really ought not to be able to hold itself up like that, and yet here it is, somehow defying the laws of architecture. It is surrounded by a neatly bordered garden of ornamental and useful plants of all sorts: here vegetables, there herbs, there spell components, there rows of flowers.

There is a sign out front. It says only: Magic. Not, Beware, Magic or Magic Emporium or anything like that. Just: Magic.

Sitting on top of this sign is a cream cat with smoke-dark points of color on each paw, his ears, and his face and tail.

All in all, you could be forgiven for thinking that a witch lives here.

Comments

[calendarofcrime]

Sherlock nods.

[thaumobabble]

"Biscuits will be out of the oven in a minute," says the maybe-a-witch, ushering them inside. "Limeade is available immediately." Maybewitch opens a cupboard, flicks a pitcher full of green liquid three times, and supervises as further pouring and serving carries itself out automatically.

Sip.

"You've come a long way. What are you looking for, and have you already tried asking a squirrel for directions?"

[allthebrightest]

"Mom wants us to find a husband and/or husbands," says Tony. "Ooh, limeade."

Mmslurp.

[calendarofcrime]

"The last squirrel we tried pointed us this way, but was either unable or disinclined to direct us further."

[thaumobabble]

"Husbands, husbands," says Maybe-a-witch, tapping her chin. "I don't think I have a window that will do husbands. Not my area. I have one that will do lost tailors and tinkers and merchants' sons and the like? Generally I just find them and see if I can help them find what they're looking for and get home without incident, but I bet several of them would be the sort to be pleasantly surprised by eligible princesses, if you're so inclined."

[calendarofcrime]

"You're a very helpful person," Sherlock observes.

[thaumobabble]

"How do you know? Perhaps I am intimidated by princessitude and want you to think highly of me. Perhaps I'm a romantic of some sort and would be completely worthless to you if you were in search of the Spring of Crystal. Perhaps I am bored and you present a diversion," she says.

[calendarofcrime]

"You exhibit helpfulness," she says. "You are helpful. The alternate theories you propose do not explain my observations as well as mine."

[thaumobabble]

"All right then," she laughs. Her oven opens itself, and she gets up to don oven mitts and remove a sheet of biscuits therefrom. "Here we are." She puts one on each of three plates, cuts them in half, and dollops butter on each half. "What are you looking for in a husband or husbands, anyway?"

[calendarofcrime]

"Sense," says Sherlock.

[allthebrightest]

"Looking good in a crown: also a plus," says Tony.

[thaumobabble]

"Admirable criteria. I'm not sure how much my lost-people window will help, unless you're planning to stay in this general area for some weeks. They are not that frequent, and when they appear, they are sometimes short on sense. Also, about half of them are female. No comment on whether they'd look good in crowns. I suspect it might depend on the crown."

[allthebrightest]

"You'd look good in a crown," Tony observes.

[thaumobabble]

"Do you think so?" asks maybe-a-witch, who has managed to go for a rather long time without realizing that she needs to introduce herself now. "For cosmetic purposes, quite possibly! And yet my parents do not qualify me."

[allthebrightest]

"There's ways around that," she says cheerfully.

[thaumobabble]

"You said husbands," says maybe-a-witch. "And I like the Enchanted Forest, I don't want to go marry the princess of Linderwall or wherever; I imagine they'd oblige me to live there."

[allthebrightest]

"Did I say I wanted to marry you? I did not say I wanted to marry you! But yuo'd totally look good in a crown. And you've got sense."

[calendarofcrime]

"Tony is flirting," Sherlock translates. "And Tony's flirting is not principally matrimonial in nature."

[thaumobabble]

"I didn't say she wanted to marry me," Maybe-a-witch points out to Sherlock, "I'm just ruling out all the candidates for Ways Around Being Unqualified To Wear A Crown and two of them are in my house, ruling themselves out. Since I've already decided against violent conquest, you see."

And she turns to Tony. "Yes," she says gravely. "I do indeed have sense."

[calendarofcrime]

"...Not to speak to the likelihood of such an event," says Sherlock, "but technically the need to find a suitable future monarch-consort and the need to find someone to create suitable future monarchs with are separate items that could be dealt with separately. And there are two of us."

[thaumobabble]

"Duly noted!"

And she bites into her biscuit.

"But," she says, "why is there a need to find the first thing, if we consider the second potentially unrelated? Do you two not particularly like monarching?"

[allthebrightest]

"Monarching is boring," says Tony. "I take after Dad; I'd rather drink, flirt, and tinker with magic artifacts."

[thaumobabble]

"Oooh, magic artifacts," says she-who-has-not-yet-been-asked-for-her-name. "What kind of artifacts?"

[allthebrightest]

"Please tell me you've heard of the Skyvault," says Tony. "Otherwise I might have to take away your 'Magic' sign."

[thaumobabble]

"Of course I've heard of the Skyvault," says she-of-the-"Magic"-sign dreamily. "If I thought arbitrary visitors were allowed I'd have hiked all the way to the castle just to look at it."